When I was trying to figure out a unique term for my gender
identity, I couldn’t think of anything outside of the box beside, a straight cis-woman.
It wasn’t until I was on the phone with my mother that a light bulb turned on.
What was the trigger? It was the use of the word (and my favorite one) “fuck”
when talking to my mom and her response of “Krista Noelle, you’re a lady, don’t
curse”. Does my own mother not know me? How many times does she have to put the
effort in of telling me to “act like a lady” or “ladies don’t curse”? Cursing
is my go-to past-time; it is a part of my everyday life; an f-bomb is usually
dropped before the majority of my words when in a casual setting. However, this
also leads into the problems of people judging me besides my own mother. So with this, I looked at all the things that
went against me being a “lady”:
-I
curse; A LOT
-I take
pride in the fact that I can spit a distance
-I will
go a few days without showering (I will ALWAYS wash my face and spray dry
shampoo in my hair before getting ready though)
-I don’t
mind getting dirty
-I will
wrestle you if provoked (mostly while drinking)
-I hate
backing down
-I hate
to cry
-I will
not let anyone see me cry
-I hate
to look weak or vulnerable
-I know
more about cars than most women
-I don’t
mind getting muddy and dirty
-I’m
the one who does the “men’s” work around my house
-I want
to be physically strong; I lift weights and focus on upper body when at the gym
-I love
video games; not the crap video games but the good ones
-I love
horror and gore films
-I’ll
go a few weeks without shaving my legs because it takes to damn long
-I have
my father’s gross-ass feet…(apologies for the word ass, but you need to
understand the horror of that man’s feet. It hurts to admit this flaw of mine.)
-I don’t
get my nails done or understand the photos of a fresh paint job
- I can
be hard and not nurturing
-I don’t
believe things should be sugar coated if the toughness is deserved
-I believe
there is a time to be nice and a time to be stern
-I can
be very blunt
-I can
be intimidating
-It’s
hard for me to not have my way
The list is long and if I put more time thinking about it, I
know it would just continue growing. But while the list is long, it doesn’t
take away from all the things that do make me a lady. I love makeup; my wings
have been perfected to being so pointy they could leap off my eyes and stab a
person and my eyebrows show no mercy when I raise them. I love shoes; my mom and
I will spend hours just window shopping shoes. I love a good blazer with a dark
pair of jeans almost as Liz Lemon does on 30Rock. I love my hair; it kills me
that my ends are so split but I refuse to get my hair cut here like the brat I
can sometimes be. I love Sephora and Bath and Body Works. I love detail; I can
decorate the sh*t out of a room; holidays are even better.
The point of all of this is that the list can go on and on
if I allow it to. So when it comes down to it, I have both feminine and
masculine traits no matter how my role is supposed to be played; gender can’t
be divided into two boxes. So when
re-thinking of a term that fits my gender identity and looking over Kate
Bornstein’s list of sex-positive and all-gender words, my best attempt to name
it would be a
Cis-woman, androfemme badass glamazon.
I am androfemme because of all the reasons mentioned above.
I know I have both masculine and feminine traits to me. I obviously act on my
feminine traits more and play the role, but I do break that role every day
through small masculine actions. I am “badass” because that word is associated with
masculinity. There is also not a day that I don’t think to myself, “girl, you’re
such a badass", and kick then kick the day’s butt. And lastly, I’m a glamazon
because I love the glam and high femininity of myself. If my life in the Public
Relations world doesn’t pan out, I tell myself to go into cosmetology because I
am damn good with makeup. I am a blend of glam and grunge; pretty and hard; sassy and douchey.
^^^ this link explains my life in a nutshell.^^^
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