"Mansplained"

     The most frequent example of “mansplaining” in my personal experience involves music taste. The Beatles are one of my most favorite bands and I’ve spent more time than I care to admit listening to and reading about them, yet on several occasions my knowledge of them has been questioned. A number of men have demanded validation of my familiarity with them and ALWAYS act shocked when I seem to know what I’m talking about. One particular man started to spew out random trivia about their music when he found out that I liked them, and I happened to know that every word he was saying was completely false. Even when I tried to mention a few points of my own, he shot me down and continued on. I even checked some of my books after the conversation just to make sure that I actually was right. Solnit mentions that women are often trained “in self-doubt and self-limitation” and I feel like my post-conversation research is a pretty good example of that very thing. He had spoken with such confidence that I was forced to question my own. Questionable confidence in any area is a constant issue of mine and I’m beginning to wonder why that is—simply a personality trait or perhaps it has another cause.

     While preparing to write this post, I asked two of my friends if they had any applicable story and both of them did. This seems to be a fairly common experience. I doubt this is an exclusively male issue, but I can completely understand how it’s an abuse implemented by anyone with “power.” People with power— whether legitimate or invented—wish to exercise it over those they presume weaker. The issue is with the assumptions. People should be given the benefit of the doubt that they know something about the subject at hand (especially one they claim to have interest in) rather than be immediately attacked.