Gender Identity Crisis

 When thinking of a new term for my gender identity, I kept trying to consider my actual gender identity as a cisgender woman, but also my sexual orientation as pansexual and my more masculine gender expression. All of these things together kept making me want to involve the word 'queer' in my identity. I had thrown around a few things, such as genderqueer, but that is an actual identity that I don't identify with - so I kept thinking. Earlier in the semester, we had come up with terms such as the ones in My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein. Mine was "Pan-King" - playing off of my sexuality and my drag persona (and it sounds like 'pancake' which food = love)... That wasn't quite what I was looking for in creating a term for purely my gender identity, though. And then I started thinking about a conversation I had with a friend earlier and how they identify as trans-masculine...which made it kind of click for me:

              I'm a cis-masculine, queerheart woman.

  This kind of plays off of my drag name - Kyle Queerhart - but also considers how trans people often have to specify their identity by saying they are a trans man or trans woman, while cis people don't have to specify and say cis man or cis woman. So I am basically saying that I am a cisgender woman, but masculine, who is also pretty queer at heart - in my expression and/or my orientation.